Challenges
Handling the office bully
by Kelly Pate Dwyer
Bullying doesn’t just happen at school. It’s prevalent among
adults, too. Childhood shoving
and name calling evolve to more
subtle and manipulative forms
of aggression, intimidation and
exclusion—behaviors that can
profoundly impact a person’s
psychological and physical
health.
What’s more, people who live
with chronic illnesses such as
multiple sclerosis and who may
have a visible disability are more
likely targets.
“When you live with an
illness with any kind of disabling
symptom, you can easily find
yourself in a situation where
someone else is taking advantage
of your sense of vulnerability,”
says Susan Swearer, MS, PhD,
associate professor of psychology
at the University of Nebraska. She
has conducted large-scale studies
of youth bullying, and sees similar
patterns among adults.
Understanding bullying
Perceptions vary on how to
define and quantify adult
bullying. Teasing, for instance,
amounts to bullying in some
contexts, but not others. Still,
experts agree that bullying:
• happens where there is a
power imbalance, such
as between a boss and an
employee.
Bullying at the workplace is, at its best, hurtful.
At worst, it can put your livelihood at risk—
and even your health.
• is repetitive.
• is deliberate and personal,
whereas other types of
conflict center around tasks
or concepts.
Adult bullying can happen
just about anywhere, but it can
be particularly difficult to handle
in the workplace, which is a
hotbed for power inequities. And
work is one place many people
can’t avoid a bully, says Nova
Scotia–based organizational
psychologist and human
resources consultant Kevin
Kelloway, MS, PhD.
Experts agree that bullies get a
boost when they overpower their
targets and when peers accept
their behavior.
Bullying can involve a range
of behaviors, from outright
threats or disparaging comments
to more subtle actions such
as ignoring a person’s ideas,
repeatedly excluding someone
from social activities, or
spreading misinformation.
Bullies pick on people they
perceive as weak in situations
where they expect to get away
with it.
As such, people who already
feel victimized by their health
make attractive targets, says
Rosalind Joffe, ACC, a Boston-
based career coach and mediator
who has MS and counsels clients
with disabilities and chronic
illnesses. “You may feel guilty
that your illness or disability is
inconvenient for other people, that
you’ve let other people down.”
If that weren’t enough, says
psychologist and bullying
expert Peter Randall in his
book, Bullying in Adulthood:
Assessing Bullies and their
Victims (Taylor & Francis,
2001), bullying victims often feel
trapped in their situation, too,
which can cause or exacerbate
anxiety, depression and other
health problems common with
prolonged stress.
Targeting disabled people
That’s what happened to
Amy*, who was diagnosed
with MS in 2007. A Florida
resident, Amy worked in
medical coding and billing for
several years. Currently, she is
unemployed and studying for a
new certification, in hopes it’ll
expand her job opportunities.
Amy told her instructor about
a learning disability, which
