chronic disease. They’re people who are more apt
to understand because they’ve been through a lot,
too. It’s that commonality that drives the desire to
connect.”
The support group solution
In fact commonality is the premise behind support
groups, which are extraordinarily helpful for some
people. Crystine Baynard, for example, tries to
do something MS-related at least once a week to
see how other people cope and to learn from their
experiences.
Some people cope very well without ever going
to a support group, while others view their support group as a lifeline. “There’s no right way to
do this,” said Dr. Crawford, but there are a lot of
options, including social networks like Facebook
and telephone-based resources like MS Friends
(see page 30).
Finding that special relationship Forging a new relationship is challenging under the best of cir- cumstances, but oss MS into the mix and things get even more
complicated. After
diagnosis, many
people think, “Who’s going to want to take this
baggage on?” It’s easy to assume that being alone is
a permanent part of the deal.
Marni Blake
Rothman,
diagnosed
2004
K.C. ELLIS
Even though Jon Hood is independent, he recognizes that his condition could be a deal-breaker
for some. “I’m already being brought down by
this disease, and I don’t want to hold anyone else
back,” he said. Like most people with MS, Hood
is consumed with questions when he meets someone new: “Do I tell the person right away? Will it
completely sabotage the relationship if I let them
know? Is it dishonest not to tell them early on? It’s
overwhelming.”
Some people with MS prefer to tell potential partners right away, when the stakes are lower and the
fear of rejection isn’t as acute. But experts suggest
disclosing your MS only after you discover you
have a lot in common with the person, and want
the relationship to continue.
“If someone sees you’re scared or depressed or
closed off, they may not be willing to start a
