“I’m not only single, but childless and an
only child with no extended family. My
caregivers are my parents, aged 82 and 89.
Right now, I don’t have any idea of what I’m
going to do after my parents can no longer
provide for me. So yes, for me, being single
with MS is a huge factor.” —Tessa
Like Tessa, there are single people with MS
for whom an extensive support network is
not in place. Parents may be elderly, or ill.
Family relations may be strained. A recent
divorce or a death may have left a person
isolated.
For help with immediate practical matters,
such as transportation, health insurance, or
financial planning, call 1-800-344-4867 to
speak to an MS Navigator™ at the Society,
who can help with referrals and resources.
Ask about the Society’s Financial Education
Partners Program, where participants can
receive free one-on-one counseling with a
professional. Also browse the many online
resources at
nationalMSsociety.org,
including brochures, videos and articles.
To talk to someone who can understand
where you’re coming from and offer some
emotional support, call an MSFriend at
866-673-7436, 7 a.m. until midnight,
Eastern Time (or leave a message to get a call
back the next day). The program connects
callers with volunteers with MS who can
listen and help problem-solve. Calls are
completely confidential.
A great support network means talking about
one’s MS—and that tends to be a more emotional
dialogue than chatting about a job or even a lifestyle
change. It’s not uncommon for people with MS to
feel others don’t care when they don’t ask directly
about symptoms or treatment. But just because
friends don’t ask questions doesn’t mean they aren’t
concerned.
“They may not bring it up is because they can’t fix
it, and that’s frustrating for them,” said Dr. Crawford. “What’s more, a lot of people don’t want to
see people they love cry, which can happen when
MS is the topic. That’s why good two-way communication is so essential. I encourage my MS
clients to take the lead and to say, ‘I’m going to
periodically let you know how things are going
with me,’ so the burden is shared.”
Dr. Crawford points out it may be just the thing to
ask a good friend to be at follow-up appointments
or to give medication. “Involvement may help
someone close to you feel like they’re really part of
your team, rather than an outsider,” she said.
Sorting good friends from the
fair-weather type
After an MS diagnosis it becomes glaringly obvious
which friends are the solid ones. People discover
that some friends are overwhelmingly negative or
self-involved. “It can be hard at first but if a person
isn’t a positive force in your life, let the relationship
fade away and start spending time with more positive people,” Dr. Crawford counseled.
“I’ve found that people who are interested in
developing a relationship or even a friendship with
me are people who are dealing with stuff of their
own,” said Craig Phillips, 39, a support group
leader in urban Texas. Phillips was diagnosed with
MS five years ago. “Maybe they had cancer and
are in remission, or they have a loved one with a
