may feel the pressure of financial difficulties and
greater responsibilities. And, unfortunately, not all
families come together in a crisis.
ing board. But when Hood’s dad passed away a year
after the diagnosis, he was left on his own.
Jon Hood, 22, of Phoenix, was only 17 when he
was diagnosed with progressive MS, which took a
rapidly debilitating course. “When I told my mom
I was diagnosed, she said, ‘Can you pass the salt?’”
Hood said. “She was in complete denial. She said
the doctors were wrong because I was so young
and no one in our family had it.” But the doctors
were right about Hood’s diagnosis, and his relation-
ship with his mom crumbled under the stress. “She
couldn’t accept it,” he said. So his dad accompanied
him to his doctor visits—and served as his sound-
For now, Hood balances attending school at Ari-
zona State University and working full time. He
depends on one supportive telephone friendship
and has also begun reaching out to other people
with MS through Facebook (
facebook.com/
nationalMSsociety).
Creating the “family” you need
“After a diagnosis, people see their life shrinking,
and often they’re depressed,” said Dr. Crawford.
And when people are depressed, the quality—and
quantity—of their relationships plummet. “That’s
when it’s important for people to surround themselves with others who are positive, encouraging
and who like to have fun. In fact, that’s part of the
treatment for depression, to realize you can still
enjoy a night out.”
“Since my diagnosis a year and a half ago, I’ve focused on staying rested, eating healthy and ;nding as many things as I can that make me happy. I try to date people who don’t mind going to bed early, who like similar activities, who like me as a person. But opening up about MS has been challeng- ing. I’ve gotten mostly positive reactions, and a couple of negative ones…. If I don’t ;nd a perfect relationship, I learned two things since diagnosis: I am in;nitely more in touch with what matters and what makes me happy; and the friend- ships I’ve built are the best I could have ever asked for.” —Gordon
Ann Marie Johnson, diagnosed 2002
COURTESY ANN MARIE JOHNSON
This seems to work for Crystine Baynard, whose friends urge her to hit
happy hour on Fridays. They’re also
good about reaching out to her and
making sure she’s OK. “MS has actually helped me stay in closer touch
with friends that I probably wouldn’t
have kept up with,” she said.
Even Sharon Dodge, who consid-
ers herself fully capable of getting
things done on her own, has a
very strong support network she
can rely on in a pinch. “I have
three families in my neighborhood
who help me stay sane, and I’ve learned to ask
for help.” But help goes both ways. Dodge buys
neighbors’ favorite cookies or takes over a bottle of
wine to say “thank you.” “In the military commu-
nity, we all know how to take care of each other
and how to give back,” she said.
