Becoming a team player
Over time, Bruno learned to be forthright. Once
she accepted her illness and educated herself
about its course, she was able to pull back when
she needed space and to help those close to her to
understand better what she was going through.
“With MS, you become a passenger on the bus,
not the bus driver,” she said. “I’ve always been the
caregiver in my closest relationship, the go-to person, and that hasn’t changed. But the intensity has
changed.” Bruno lives alone now, by choice. “We
had to dial down our relationship, but we still have
that comfort and companionship.”
Taking every opportunity to connect with other
human beings and expand your social circle can
make a big difference, say experts.
Not sure how to do this? “Think about something
you’re interested in and sign up for a class or join
a group. You’ll be exposed to people you already
have something in common with,” suggested Dr.
GUYLA WEHMAN
Crawford. Her clients have raced greyhounds, volunteered for Habitat for Humanity, taken drawing classes and more. Some people broaden their
network by reaching out to their church or temple
communities, by participating in local politics—or
by fundraising for the MS movement.
Take 45-year-old Sharon Dodge of Washington,
who was diagnosed when she was 31. Once she
accepted the diagnosis, Dodge became more
active, both physically and as a crusader in the
fight against MS. She started a Walk MS team and
then a Bike MS team. Since her first Walk MS
event in Port Townsend, Wash., in 2000, she has
helped raise more than $200,000 in support of the
National MS Society. And just as important, she
has made lifelong friendships along the way.
Dodge is not technically single. Her husband, Bill,
a commander in the U.S. Navy and former naval
aviator, is currently deployed in Afghanistan for 15
months. She’s at home with a 17-year-old son and
12-year-old twin daughters. And this is not the first
time she has been temporarily “single with MS.”
Navigating family dynamics
Whether you’re moving back in with your parents,
being a single parent post-divorce, or adjusting to
life alone after a death, a significant shift in roles
is likely. The person with MS is the only one with
physical symptoms, but every family member is
affected and not everyone handles it well. Even in
a far-flung family, members are experiencing their
own losses in terms of roles and relationships; they
